When the trumpets sound

 

I have my eyes open, nothing hurts me, not my knees, not my hips, I don't even need glasses to see. I'm a new being, not human, that this thing of being human is being held hostage to a body that I no longer need. I look at the flowers, their colors, the garden always comes at the end, sometimes with a song to match. Now that nothing hurts me, I feel that I could even dance, as I used to do, when I was young, when the body without diseases played entertained, in the eternal game of life. The trumpets sounded for me and I who was afraid, I who had these feelings that we did not master in the end, of finding life strange without me, behold me, who continue to be alive,Because yes, now I feel alive, now that I don't need anything, I no longer walk, but I fly, the path that is not stone, nor earth, nor looking at the stars from afar, nor imagining how I will rise tomorrow has become in me, because I walk in a dimension where I don't need canes, legs, greater will and suffering to reach extreme unction. And from the extreme in me, only the joy, the freedom that is mine and the love that is much greater from here, is relief and exhortation, ecstasy and contemplation.  

Life is a dream I had. I look at him composed, baled, cold, icy, absent, apathetic. The one in the figure of a person, inside a box is me, yes, I know I am, because I see my family, my wife broken. They focus on that body and that's not where I am. I have already reached the exit, freedom is mine, as if by magic, the shoes that have hurt me all my life have been taken from me, but it doesn't hurt me at all, in fact, I realize now, that I was never just that, that I survived that body that weighed me down in the dimension of the earth. I am alive and if there is any term that illustrates what I feel, it is called happiness and freedom. I reached the summit and the spiritual fire. And I, who didn't know how to parrot what the church offered me as a consolation, didn't understand them and got lost in thinking, that if god existed he had to be untouchable, inaccessible, like a kind of punisher, castrating and fucker. But no! It has no human figure, it is not corporeal, but a blessing of light and joy. If you knew about me, as I feel, you would not lose a tear of pain, but a hymn of gratitude and love would come out of you. 

I look back, as if saying goodbye, goodbye woman, see you soon, trying to find my last consolation for the human being who accompanied me in this stage that is over, who suffers for me and for her, but they don't see me, focused as they are on the box, on that heavy and clothed body, all of it ornate. And they even put on shoes, but I don't need anything anymore. I hear laments, murmurs, a buzz of people, talking through their teeth for fear of waking me up. Faces turned down, presuming of my pain in this rest. Earthly life is, then, the pause between birth and the growth of inclement weather, the serene unfolding of days, associated with pain,which is the suffering that is let go when the dove comes to lift us up and gives us wings, because I am above, I have to have wings, I see them move away, when they throw dirt on what was me, but I am no more.  The earthly dimension is narrow, they do not even appreciate the panorama of the larger project. Certainly, to live is to have eye patches, to push the breath to useless levels of attachment. I leave without nostalgia, there are no glories or tortures on this side of heaven, except an entire love without arms, a contagious joy of union and the perception that I did not have before, the dimension of freedom that is this width of loving unconditionally, being entirely, without the need for water, food, anything. I'm whole without the coffin.And when the earth sprouts, sap has already swallowed the molded bodies, so that, later on, a second, a millennium, what does it matter, to make new people sprout, made of the dust that is there. This body of Gaia, this house that I abandon, this fertile and generous womb from which I once drew food, will be the same one that will see me arrive, more time, more space, in another place, in another family, in another lap, to live again trapped in a body and in an earthly dimension. No, I don't miss it, my desire is to embrace and be embraced by the angels, by the light I have in me and I lack nothing, here, I am full. If they could understand and there would be nothing to fear. Suffering is an earthly thing. That my soul is a bird, and the flock that awaited me, huge.